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Imagine being estranged from your father.
That messy hurt.
That sharp pain ever present casting a chilly shadow over every personal event. Even the good days. Especially the good days.
Filmmaker Tracie Laymon has grappled with this grim experience.
In an effort to reach out to her distant father…she put his name into Facebook. And was quickly friended…but wait…is this her Dad?
Turns out it was not. He was a total stranger from Wichita, Kansas. He had the same name as Tracie’s father (who also lived in Wichita). Now…what?
They stayed Facebook friends. They used the platform to correspond. They hit Like. And slowly…this stranger became her Facebook Dad.
Tracie tells me: “My (real) dad had never been to any of my screenings of my short films or anything like that. And it did affect me, you know, it made me sad that he’d never come out. I got some awards during this time and my Facebook Dad said, “Way to go, kiddo.”
“Way to go, kiddo” is exactly what a Dad is supposed to say.
That’s like half the job of being a Dad.
Tracie funneled her “way to go, kiddo” Facebook experience into a script then into a movie: Bob Trevino Likes It.
The movie opens in select cities and cinemas (including TIFF Lightbox in downtown Toronto) on March 21st. Check the link for the #PantsWorthy list.
There’s a heartbreaking scene in the movie (it opens the trailer) where Robert Trevino (French Stewart) presents his adult daughter Lily (Barbie Ferreira) with an itemized list of all the expenses he’s incurred while raising her. There’s baby food and bedsheets and more on his daughter’s bill.
“I’m not saying you owe me, I just wanted you to know what you cost me,” he offers as an explanation.
Robert Trevino is not a good father.
That Robert Trevino is not a “way to go, kiddo” father.
Tracie Laymon’s debut feature Bob Trevino Likes It is unapologetically earnest and refreshingly optimistic. She baked her vulnerable experiences with her real dad and with her Facebook Dad into the movie. So Bob Trevino rings with lamentable authenticity.
It all seems so weird. Her putting her father’s name into Facebook and befriending a stranger with the same name. Yet it’s all real. Life is weird.
Facebook Dad would write happy birthday on Tracie’s Facebook profile. While her real father didn’t write or even acknowledge her. That hurt doesn’t go away on its own.
She admits in this attached My Summer Lair conversation: “I got a dopamine hit that turned into real life healing.”
Oh and that gut punch scene where Robert Trevino hands his daughter a bill for raising her? That happened in real life.
Maybe we suck at being loved. Maybe we don’t know how to love. Maybe. But when we don’t know how to love we end up creating so much damage to the people in our lives. We’re all teeth, no heart.
As Tracie wisely points out: “The absurdity that we keep going back to the people that don’t see us or value us.” Sigh. We don’t always make good or even smart choices, do we?
In her movie The Good Bob is played by ardent Knicks fan John Leguizamo. Bob is a gentle construction manager, still grieving the loss of his infant son from years earlier. And that jarring loss has strained his marriage. Still he openly informs his wife: “Some young woman friended me on the internet—I don’t even know how she found me!”
“Honey, I think you’re being catfished.” Bob’s wife is right…I mean what else could it be?
However the playful absurdity of the situation creates this off-beat humour that effectively dilutes any emotional schmaltziness. Facebook Bob keeps muttering “what the hell…” to himself every time he receives a Facebook notification from Lily.
This isn’t You Got Mail. This isn’t a boy meets girl story or movie.
Rather it’s the slow tender relationship where two people can fluently communicate in the same language because they’re both broken. Bob has lost his infant son and Lily is estranged and hurt by her real father. Pain is a universal language.
They’re both grieving loss and unsure how to move forward.
No one really knows what they’re doing.
Awkward is always gold for humour. And heart. (Facebook Bob even struggles with his wife also marred in grief. He wants to be a good dude for her and honestly? Sometimes that’s good enough.)
Tracie confirms: “To find that something so specific is indeed universal is overwhelmingly beautiful.” Then adds:
“You know it’s no longer just my story. It’s our story. Anybody who relates to this film; it’s their story, too.”
Our story applies to Facebook Bob and his wife, Jeanie (Rachel Bay Jones) their marriage fractured like their hearts as they grieve the loss of their infant son. Though neither has the capacity to give the other what they need anymore, they’re mutually supportive of the solitary (and lonely) avenues they explore to find the emotional nourishment they crave.
Our story applies to Facebook as that is where so many of us document our stories. It’s uncomfortable to say it out loud but we sometimes go there to be acknowledged, to love…and to be loved. Even if it’s just the warmth of strangers. That still counts.
Our story applies to Bob Trevino Likes It written and directed by Tracie Laymon. An uplifting ode to loving better, to allow others to love us better. And of course to celebrating strangers on Facebook.
This movie offers a completely different social media message from what we have heard lately. It’s the noble opposite of what we’ve seen the last little while as well. It’s easy to think common good is eroding. It’s easy to think but perhaps it isn’t true. It all sounds so serious and perhaps it is. There’s a gravity to love; romantically we talk about falling in love, after all.
Everybody in this movie is good. French Stewart as Robert Trevino is an appallingly awful father. Did not see that heinous performance coming from him. John Leguizamo as Facebook Bob radiates decency and patience. He needs this fresh love as much as Lily does. Barbie’s Lily has no poker face; her face is a TV screen often broadcasting the contents of her heart.
Bob Trevino Likes It. I bet you will, too.
Welcome Tracie to My Summer Lair. She and I talk about Texas; we talk about healing and grace…the rare kindness of social media…we even get into scrapbooking which I think is the first time I’ve ever discussed that with a guest.
This My Summer Lair episode is as intimate as Bob Trevino Likes It.
#SetTheVCR: Your Tomorrow
Oh and March 21, 2025 is a busy day.
Remember Ali Weinstein’s Your Tomorrow…the Ontario Place documentary?
Your Tomorrow comes from the following phrase from an 1969 Ontario Place promotional brochure for the theme park, built on four islands made of reclaimed land on Lake Ontario:
“Ontario Place is a mirror to show you yourself. Your heritage. Your land. Your work. Your creativity. And your tomorrow.”
Well, the documentary streams on the TVO Docs YouTube channel starting at 9 a.m.:
That is streaming across Canada. (It is geo-locked.).
And if you wanna see it on TV the TVO broadcast is March 23 at 9 p.m. (Ontario only.)
(Bonus #SetTheVCR? Right before Your Tomorrow on Sunday, check out Big (If True) at 8 p.m. That non-fiction tv series explores how disinformation disrupts society. Pretty compelling journalism, I gotta say.)
Couldn’t Go Viral On Social Media Even If I Was Sick…
Sammy Younan
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Sammy Younan is the affable host of My Summer Lair podcast: think NPR’s Fresh Air meets Kevin Smith: interviews & impressions on Pop Culture.
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