Cause We All Just Wanna Be Rockstars
Wasn’t it Gandhi who said: "Be the hate you wish to see in the world.”
Yo…
I wrote most of this My Pal Sammy on my laptop in the back of a white Honda CR-V. On my way to my car dealer.
Yesterday I left my car at the dealer; the usual: they needed to order a part and it won’t be here in time. They sent me home in an Uber. And issued another Uber this afternoon, this white Honda CR-V to pick me up and take me back to the car dealer.
The car arrived and I climbed into the back. Off we go.
Traffic is horrible on the highway so I busted out the laptop and started writing. I gotta say this Lincoln Lawyer Dude is on to something. Man driving and writing is fresh. I’m digging this system. Even parking lot traffic is bearable.
Soon…we’ve arrived.
E Don Roadway in downtown Toronto has been converted into this car dealer service alley.
You drive down the middle and to the left and to the right are structures that look like parking garages. There’s a Ford garage and a Nissan garage and a Hyundai garage and you name it. Just a long row of open garages you can drive into to have your car serviced by the appropriate dealer.
I arrived in my Uber at the same time the ice cream truck showed up. Oh snap! That’s like the excellent timing of a professional stand up comic.
It’s Friday afternoon and it’s Summertime and everybody’s feeling fresh. These employees were like kids. Everybody was coming out to greet the ice cream truck like it was WWII soldiers coming home from the war. You know how many times the ice cream man heard: you made it!
Mechanics and other underground workers squinted in the bright Sun. Secretaries abandoned their posts, let the phones ring. Friends were buying friends ice cream. Arguing over which ice cream to get: you like that?
Summer’s beautiful for this. There’s these gifts that Summer freely gives us that winter and fall can’t quite contribute.
I did not get ice cream. I had a bill to pay. I pulled on the door and walked into the Dodge Chrysler service dealer.
What’s your wild weekend plans? Are you getting ice cream?
School is out and it’s a sort of a buzz
But back then I didn’t really know what it was
But now I see what have of this
The way that people respond to Summer Madness
The weather is hot and girls are dressin’ less
And checkin’ out the fellas to tell ‘em who’s best
Take a break from me and My Summer Lair and enjoy…me on This Is Going Well, I Think with David Cooper.
I was on David’s podcast on July 1st…Canada Day chatting about Nickelback. Classic. All that was missing was some pulled pork poutine.
Canada is 157 years old and has given the world so much music from Celine Dion to Sarah McLachlan to Maestro Fresh Wes to…Nickelback.
People hate Nickelback. Hate. In Star Wars hate leads to the dark side which practically makes Nickelback a Darth Vader factory.
At the end of June Netflix added Hate To Love: Nickelback, a documentary that actively explores the Nickelback hate.
As such, I went on David’s podcast to talk about Nickelback hate and this documentary.
Truthfully, I’ve never understood Nickelback hate.
They’re just a generic rock band; not terrible, not amazing. I’m neither a fan nor a hater.
Like Maroon 5: you can probably name a name a couple of their songs you’ve heard on the radio but they ain’t all that special or unique or remarkable. They’re fated to be background music at a Walmart.
Lots of people complain about U2 and Coldplay as obvious examples. Though this is just the nature of pop culture. You’ll really enjoy certain things, you’ll be annoyed by other things…overexposure breeds hate as well. It’s the cycle of life.
New Coldplay is awful. Feelslikeimfallinginlove is such a dumb title, too. I wanna punch that title in the face. Wait. You know what?
It’s not even bad...it’s just so boring. Every time I hear new Coldplay I’m reminded why we broke up in the first place. That magic is gone. Those first two or three albums were Yellow gold then after that it was all Everyday Life mold. Fix You? Nah, man. I left you.
If you dig Coldplay or enjoy new Coldplay…have a good time. Turn it up. Dance. Use a hairbrush as a microphone and sing along. My hate doesn’t impact your fun. Just as your fun doesn’t clash with my hate.
Personally I can’t stand The Killers, so pretentious for no good reason. And I’ve seen em live, I did the work.
You can’t just blindly hate…hate still requires work.
Hate isn’t a lazy shortcut. Feelings are not facts.
We all hate and like and meh music. Just ask the Spotify algorithm.
But honestly? Isn’t it boring to hate on Nickelback after it becomes this whole thing? At a certain point you ain’t expressing any insight, you’re just reinforcing your brand. Putting aside the volume of the hate…why exactly are Nickelback hated?
A Finnish researcher published her Nickelback study: Hypocritical Bullshit Performed Through Gritted Teeth. “Critics have attacked Nickelback for being too calculated in their artistic approach,” she writes. Like…really?!
Beyonce and Drake employ an army of writers. Max Martin wrote Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off. Like what are we talking about?
Authenticity is not necessary for mainstream success, we’ve seen that with many worthless “influencers.”
What a ridiculous crime to be charged with. Yo. The entire boy band craze in the 90s, none of that was genuine. They weren’t even bands!
Being genuine has never been a vital element in pop music. What makes authenticity so valuable is its scarcity.
With Canada Day fireworks popping off I guested on David’s podcast to share…I don’t understand all the Nickelback hate. I really, don’t.
In the documentary Alan Cross points out:
“You have critics who believe that they understand what good music is, and they hear a band like Nickelback, which is blatantly mainstream. But they were so mainstream that they were considered irrelevant artistically. And if you liked Nickelback well, then you didn’t have very good taste. You didn’t understand rock music.”
That’s…silly. I’m not willing to sign up for that nonsense.
I’ve never argued from a position of taste.
If an Adam Sandler movie makes you shoot milk out of your nose: sweet. Enjoy that. Quote it and share it on Facebook.
I believe in good taste and bad taste, lowbrow and highbrow but I recognize all we’ve ever been permitted to judge is the work. Watching True Crime don’t make you a good or even qualified detective.
I can judge the Nickelback albums not the listeners. How could I?
And yet that’s one of the issues with Hate to Love: Nickelback. It failed to properly define the hate.
Recently, the Boston Celtics and Edmonton Oilers were in the NBA and NHL finals. However, there were numerous articles and social media posts and podcasts and call-in radio shows hating on those team’s fanbases.
People hated Celtics fans. The team was fine, it was the fanbase that generated the hate. And with Nickelback some of the hate is the band and their music, sure. That’s acceptable.
But some of the Nickelback hate is directed at their fanbase. The band has become an avatar that hints at contempt.
Again and forever: hate properly.
Be clear and bold about what you hate. Articulate.
Be a douchebag about why you hate those douchebags.
You know?
I grew up in the ‘80s and listened to rap into the ‘90s. Chris Rock points out you gotta defend rap:
Now, I’m 39 years old, 39 years old. Yep. Some people are like, “Really?” Yeah. New Jack City’s a long time ago. Now, I’m 39, right? And I still love rap music, I love rap music. You know, I love it!
You know, I’m 39, I’m that age, I’ve been loving rap music forever. As I get older, I realise I’m gonna love rap music when I’m 80. Whatever music was playing when you started getting laid, you gonna love that music for the rest of your life. Now I love rap music but I’m tired of defending it.
You gotta defend rap music cos people always go, “That’s not music, that’s not art. “How can you listen to that garbage? How can you listen to that trash?”
In the old days, it was easy to defend rap music. It was easy to defend it on an intellectual level. You could break it down intellectually why Grandmaster Flash was art, why Run DMC was art, why Whodini was art, and music.
You could break it down intellectually, OK? And I love all the rappers today but it’s hard to defend this shit. It’s hard, man, it’s hard to defend “I got hoes in different area codes.”
On an intellectual level. It’s hard to defend “Move, bitch, get out the way.”
Well, as you can see, there’s a bitch in his way. Now he needs to move. Thus the term, “Move, bitch, get out the way”. You need to open yo eyes so you can get the bitches out of yo way.
This wise and witty bit comes from Chris Rock: Never Scared released on April 17, 2004,
There’s a dazzling credibility to hate because you hafta defend it.
If you say The Godfather is a good movie; almost everyone agrees with you. (They better!)
But if you step forward and say Tom Hanks sucks you gotta pony up a Big PowerPoint presentation. You can’t just Cast him Away.
Hate is a Scooby-Doo villain: “I would’ve gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you punk kids.”
You can’t say Tom Hanks sucks and get away with it. Explain yourself.
No different from somebody who says Tom Hanks is great. Either way ya gotta walk The Green Mile.
You don’t hafta be fair but you gotta be accurate.
Hate’s acceptable. But...yeah, please…hate properly.
My podcast appearance on This Is Going Well, I Think is linked up there. And if you hate it? Well…comments are down there.
Thanks so much for always listening. I truly do appreciate it.
I conclude with Nickelback’s Rockstar covered as a Sea Shanty…we don’t this without Nickelback. So…there’s that.
It’s Not Hate When It’s Accurate…
Sammy Younan
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Sammy Younan is the affable host of My Summer Lair podcast: think NPR’s Fresh Air meets Kevin Smith: interviews & impressions on Pop Culture.